Thy touch has still its ancient Power. Yes! when you are quiet before Me I lay my Hand upon each head, and Divine Spirit flows through that healing, powerful touch into your very beings. Wait in silence before Me to feel that. When you look to Me for guidance My Hand is laid upon your arm, a gentle Touch to point the way. When in mental, physical, or spiritual weakness you cry to Me for healing, My touch brings Strength and Healing, the renewal of your youth, the power to climb and strive. When you faint by the way, and stumbling footsteps show human strength is waning, My Touch of the Strong and Helping Hand supports you on your Way. Yes! My children, My touch has still its ancient Power, and that Power is promised to you. So go forward into the future bravely and unafraid.
~ God calling AJ Russel
This devotional book was something that I had started with last year’s occurrence of valley fever/Coccidioidomycosis, but put it down to read something else (ADD worship). Just the other day I picked this book up again and coincidentally where it was bookmarked showed the place where I left off last year. It was dated at the same time last year October. This is after coming out the hospital with bruised up arms along with follow-up lab appointments. My veins are all hardening up, overused and abused. This last hospitalization was scary but I was so glad I went to the mountain to the Girlfriend’s conference with our church because I was calm coming in to the ER with a spiking temp. Now as it continued to spike that was a different story. I almost reached a temp of 105 and couldn’t breath as the thump of a heartbeat drum pounded my head. I kept asking the doctors was I going to be okay. They assured me and Daniel of course, by my side as always was there to remind me that I’ve been here, gone through it and will get through it! It was frustrating because it was so difficult to get two IV’s on each arm and they put a port just for administering antibiotics.
Thankfully, I broke my temp that evening after an aggressive ER team got me back on track , 7 liters of saline water, meds and a foley(which I now know I needed). They admitted to the ICU for close observation. The next day everything was looking good. My temp, labs, blood pressure, oxygen soon enough I was discharged within 3 days. They were sure I would be there all week our more (Totally God thing).
With everything I went through I just felt thankful. It has been a rough recovery especially in the first week, I would describe it as the 3 P’s (Pee, Poop & Pain). I know that’s nasty but I looked at it as I was being cleansed and delivered! I felt good inside, a peace that was beyond my understanding. As people asked how I was doing. I couldn’t help to say I’m doing much better. This is my better. My 2nd labs after the hospital was really good, better than it’s been. Now I know for sure I am being truly cleansed. The only thing I need to do on my part is rest and heal. God truly gave me this word that this is certainly the time. All that I want to do will be there. He has planted something that I believe I have tried to rush but feeling so content now that I am cautiously taking this time to fully immerse myself in a season of clarity and peace within.
I have realized I have been pretty hard on myself. I continue to think this is all self-inflicted but it’s not entirely. Just the other evening as I was having my bedtime conversation with my youngest, I wanted him to know that I’m going to do the best I can to get healthy to be a better mom. He told me mom you are already a good mom. Your always there for everything. So it made me remember that I have to take inventory of all the good and keep that at the forefront. I know I will never be perfect or ever “arrive” in my Christian walk (quote from fellow sister) but I am thankful to get closer.
Just the other day I did finally break emotionally. Strength is mysterious mix that needs a break down. I got called by my Nephrologist go to get a magnesium infusion. The thought of another needle and missed pokes brought anxiety. Sure enough by the time I got there prompt on a medical bed, with several failed attempts the flood of tears came. They even called the best nurse with a great record and even she was shocked she missed. I couldn’t stop both my specialist came into the room. As they looked at other veins they asked if they should leave but it was my only distraction. My hubby yet again reminded me that I have to remember that I used to get poked my huge tooth picks twice three times each week. I love that he can pull out what we walked through. He has been by my side through it all. I came back to this little black book called, God Calling and referenced this very devotion. It was a word for me and one to comfort me through this time of recovery.
Today I went to labs, I got my favorite tech that has followed me. I didn’t mention that even she last week couldn’t believe the condition of my veins. She had to pull many blood pumping tricks up her sleeve to get to stick. Today as I walked to her station she seen already a different demeanor in my face and complemented how much better I looked. That is the God me always doing His thing so faithfully.
This week I can’t wait to be back at church. I know I’m more than ready and will start up CR step study. I had such love and care from my sisters/girlfriends that just looked out for me while I was at mountain. They all prayed for me to be there because last year this infection prevented me to be there. I was stable and ready to go! I felt so great there the peace, nature and His presence through out. The messages that were given was definitely something I had to walk out and am continuing to walk out. I probably will have to write a whole separate blog to share what these incredible women of faith poured out into me and to all the ladies of Mars Hills Community Church during that weekend. I’m very thankful and content that I was able to be there. Today I feel secure in my battles and thankful for the past battles to remind me that I am victorious!
Thank you to all the women at Mars Hill Family, Love you all!
Mars Hill Girlfriend’s Conference 2011