Lead the Way

I got through sharing my testimony for the first time in a long time. To be honest it was hard to even know where to start. My life story has so many aspects but I knew how important it was to share what I just walked through. The special event was held by the first bible study group we were connected to when moving to Sacramento. We moved all in faith. Literally we just picked up and left and followed as the doors led the way. We left all the comforts of all we knew. Moving away gave us an openness to taste a different flavor in life and a focus we needed for our family. We didn’t know it at the time how much it would help us grow spiritually. But when your living life in faith you follow outside the grain. You learn to have confidence outside of your own being. Little by little we let go of the control of our lives. With the challenge to look outside our circumstance and believe beyond disappointment, pain, and the unknown.

I was reminded of all this as I opened the deepest areas of my recovery. The celebrant was a women fighting stage 3 breast cancer. They specifically asked me to share because they witnessed my own battles with health. It has been a while since I seen everybody and I couldn’t help to get emotional just seeing the way they looked at me. I forget that my physical appearances was always challenged by sickness. I now have a glow of health; one I want to hold on tight to because I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14).

I knew I would be sharing with the fresh sting of my recent hospitalization. A challenge I knew I needed to overcome. Another test to walk through. Something to help remove the callous the years of sickness created. I learned to break through this rough edge is the offering of myself. When I open my mouth I’m speaking against my situation; the years of sickness and I’m saying this will never be my identity. I always felt like public speaking wasn’t a natural ability of mine. I can relate to Moses asking God how was I going to speak to the nations?

Exodus 4:10 – ‘Moses said to the LORD, “O Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.

I could understand how it is to feel unqualified for such a task. Even though I’m not speaking to the nations I still must represent the promise of life. If I was to talk in my own power I would tell myself, “I’m too sick to share any goodness.” Where is the light in all the darkness I walked through. But I’m still here despite everything I went through. My faith has certainly been challenged but I never let it go. I always walked toward the light. In my years of affliction it has taught me life is too short. I must take chances to break out of the mold of what I expect of myself.  Which can be so limited. God prepared me through my work as a Donate Life ambassador and other volunteer opportunities. Breaking through nervousness and pressure and through all that I told myself I could “never” do. I learned to release the grasp of control. And allow the natural process of my true purpose take place.

There is something about the power of what we say. I’m learning and growing as I go along. I yearn to be in that place of peaceful perfection. As I had my close calls to the heavenlies. Feeling its peaceful calling. I feel ready but know that peace is accessible for me now. Life is full of beauty. It’s so much easier to experience and see when you let go and let God. Let go of the pain in your bones, the pain from the past, the pain that is so present. Let go and be thankful for breathing. I literally have to die of my flesh daily. It has taken me several years to really understand this concept. But as I do I step into freedom. Learning to speak into existence the life that I was always meant to live.

The day came to share and I prepare as best I could. I have shared a testimony that was more in dept going back all the way to childhood but there was a specific purpose. Even though this was meant to encourage; I could see how much it was meant to encourage me specifically in this time. As I’m walking out my healing. I came there all in faith. Even in the midst of my own recovery and I know can’t promise anything. I could only share a promise that God provides. One that would stand true in my life. A promise that we can rejoice in the life he gives us. One that we don’t always understand. But let go of the grasp and trust where it leads…

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15 thoughts on “Lead the Way

  1. I am glad you and others were encouraged. I am certain your story will heal many on their journey. Thank you for sharing your beautiful faith. 🙂

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  2. Thank you Samantha, You are healing many too by your openess and sharing~

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  3. You are a woman of great character, Maribel. God bless your work!

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  4. Thank you John I appreciate your compliment. This is what my life pursuit is, to build on genuine character. Thanks for reading my self discoveries.

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  5. Maribel, what a lovely story and a testament to your kind and loving character. I bet you touched all kinds of lives that day and you continue to do so here, with your inspiring words.

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    1. Thank you Brigitte for your comment. It was quite an experience but one that really helped me celebrate getting through one of the toughest seasons. Your post really touched me today and all your banters. Learn from our yesterdays and keep moving forward.

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  6. Maribel you are a shining light — giving others encouragement and inspiration in your every word. The audience you addressed was blessed to have you as a spokesperson for faith and determination through hardship and challenge physically (and emotionally). Brava to you my friend!! ~RL

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    1. RL, Thank you so much for your compliment it means so much. As our journey are similar and the words and inspirations we put out to heal. It makes it so much easier to share when your purging as you go. Keep shining too my friend! ~Maribel

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    1. I’m so honored for this nomination! God bless~

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  7. Maribel,
    The journey you’ve travelled and hardships you faced with determination and courage are an inspiration. I have close friends who are kidney transplant survivors. I, myself, have a transplanted heart. Keep the faith, strength and energy that you have and never lose it. Yours is a wonderful story.
    Paul

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  8. Paul,
    I’m thankful you found my blog as it looks are journeys are very similar. Recipients alike I know you can relate to being thankful for every extra day this gift gives us. Faith has been my guiding light through all the many trials and I’m holding tightly. You too forever keep it with you! I’d love to here more of your survivor story. I’m sure the beautiful poetry you write paints the picture.
    God bless,
    Maribel

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  9. So very encouraging. I have been a pastor since 1985 and yet not, I find myself nervous about sharing my story. So much about me as changed during my struggle with end-stage liver disease. I too have learned to release control and live outside myself. My biggest fear in sharing is that I will become a blubbering mess of emotion. Who am I to deserve such grace? Who am I to deserve the gift of a liver transplant? I have been asked to speak at a few places this fall and frankly, I’m scared to death! Thanks so much for leading the way.

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    1. Hi Scott,
      I was thankful to find your blog and glad for your visit and comment. It does get very emotional talking about the grace God gives. Till this day I have to go very deep to pull out the words to express what organ donation provided and to talk about my hardest moments dealing with chronic illness but as always God redeems those dark places. I learned how much healing it was to just allow my spirit speak for me. If I did it on my own strength I sure would fall apart. Your already doing an awesome job sharing and I know God will provide the right time and place for you to be able to share this miracle in your life!

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