This past weekend felt like my coming out weekend. Its been a long time since I was able to feel and look more like myself. I looked forward to celebrating 12 years of marriage with my hubby. Although, I knew this year we couldn’t do anything extravagant we always make plans. Last year we had breakfast and happened to have prepaid mobile spa certificates which made it a fantastic anniversary. With the roller coaster of the last couple months; we were definitely in need for some romance. Its been a long time since we had a date. Even though we have breakfast often after labs, it’s usually because I’m fasting and in need to replenish blood quickly. Hubby is usually delirious from coming straight home from his night shift to take me around. His care giving job never ends. This also is the time we take to any errands we must do; since the kids are in school. So not sure how romantic that time is but we do appreciate it because it is our “alone time”.
I searched the web looking for affordable yet romantic options to celebrate. Our depleted banking from backed up unexpected car issues, hospital stays, etc… Sure limited us from doing much. I posted on Facebook for ideas. A friend recommended a place called The Kitchen. I immediately do my research. The place sounds amazing but pricey. I message him to see if it was and he shares the experience. It overall lead to he & his wife wanting to take us out to dinner for our anniversary. The Kitchen had no reservations that weekend so they wanted to take us to another fine dining experience. Now we only know each other from bible studies & their gatherings but never actually hung out. I believe this experience would be new to us all. I’m all for building relationships beyond any type of differences. I’m proven time and time again, that when you take that opportunity to break any boundaries regardless of differences, age and even beliefs you will find that you can always find common ground.
I’m excited and I start looking for something to wear. I have fresh wounds that I like to cover. It’s just not healed enough to be exposed. Which is challenging to find anything to wear and be cute. I always love dressing up especially for my hubby. I can’t really buy anything new but thankfully I had a Marshall’s gift certificate which a dear friend gave me during one of my hospital stays. It was no easy task and it was a treasure hunt. I do find two dresses and ask friends for help of my Instagram friends (plus my sisters) I find a dress. Trying on dresses this time felt good. Its clear that I am no longer skin and bone. I actually have a little meat on my bones. A sign of healing, a sign of promise and a sign that I’m finally heading in the right direction.
The weekend came, other than the dinner plans we basically planned for another weekend of my son’s baseball game, and church on Sunday for Mother’s Day. Which I always play by ear if I can even go. Out of the mundane of our Friday routine the door bell rings. “A Surprise!” It’s my sister and my niece visiting from LA. I had no idea even though she has pulled this type of surprise in the past. My sister has gone through a challenging season and we haven’t been able to catch up. I was in tears that she was actually here. We have always been very close and she was a huge mother figure to me growing up. It was a special weekend for her to be with us. Especially after going through so much. The 3 of us siblings sure have gone through individual trials in the past year. All different yet still all very challenging. This also was the first time she would see my brother’s daughter since she was a baby. It has been so great that we now see her on the weekends. With the courts involved and my brother proving to be a responsible father we are starting to see her much more. My mom would have all her babies for Mother’s day.
We decided to go to dinner the night before our real anniversary since it was on Mother’s Day this year. Not the greatest time to go out to dinner. So the timing was perfect. I get all dressed up and even had my sister do my make up. Our friends picked us up and we were on our way to our dinner date. Me and the hubby were very grateful and the night was filled with shared stories on marriage and memories. They were married for 22 years and here we are at that halfway point. I love when God brings people in your life who has walked a little further than you have in a similar path. I was surprised she actually read my blogs. I never know who reads my blogs. I really write as a therapy and to chronicle my life but I definitely write to share my story.
This night was a celebration of the love me and my husband share. Which continues to survive the hardest of trials. We were complimented how we really have held our vows. Definitely “A promise to be true to one another in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. To love and honor each other all the days of our lives.” Something Daniel has certainly held up to and can’t say enough how blessed I am to spend my life with my best friend. It was almost symbolic to leave the mask behind like I was leaving sickness behind and I was going to be just me. I want to start walking out healing and since everything is finally coming back physically its time to be be more bold. Of course I still need to be wise but I was going to put on my heals, walk it out and enjoy the time I was spending with my husband.
Mother’s day I was woken up with my son’s homemade card, text and FB messages and hugs and kisses. We all were ready to go to church and we had reservations for a great brunch afterwards. My sister always has this way of taking care of us regardless if she’s visiting here or we’re visiting there. It just kind of always been that way. Even with my meager attempts to want to treat her out; she just loves to be able to do this for her family and this is only because she can. My sister (& her husband) has always been successful in whatever she put her mind and heart to. This would be the first time I attended church unmasked. Again another symbolic act of leaving the sickness behind even though it is still very much a reality. The act sometimes is huge to psyche. This is why the weekend felt like a coming out for me. As I got compliments on how great I looked I actually receive it (sometimes hard to take) but made me remember how far I’ve come. I don’t think I looked more myself since I first received my transplant.
I can’t predict how long the pattern of good health will last all I can do is enjoy it while its here in this present day. For tomorrow will bring its own worries (Mat6:34). I’ve gone through so much change physically, psychologically, spiritually probably the most drastic in the past couple years. It never stopped me from being who I am as a wife, a mother, a sister, a daughter and a friend. I’m aware how quickly things can change but I won’t allow that to stop me from striving to live the best life I can possibly live.
My sister left yesterday. It’s always so hard to see her go. I can’t say enough how grateful I am for all she has poured into my life. She actually showed me the nurturing that my mom gave her. She just wasn’t able to do the same for me and my brother since she was a working mom all of our childhood. Which had its replications but it never is too late repair what has been lost. Being with my mom this past several years sure has made up for that time. She does her best to be there and that’s all that matters. God truly has reconciled our relationship and this Mother’s day I can’t say enough how appreciative that I have her. If you have a challenging relationship with your mom. It is never too late to repair a relationship starting with forgiveness.
I hope everyone enjoyed their weekend as much as I did. I don’t get much jam-packed weekends often and I’m grateful when I’m able to pack in so much love, laughs, inspiration, hope and happiness in a matter of the 3 days. Which was a huge celebration of being the wife and mom regardless of the obstacles!
By the way we are still raising money for the transplant games please take a moment to read our fundraiser page: http://www.gofundme.com/l9jwo