“I was excited to be asked to be a bridesmaid for my best friend this October. She is my oldest friend; we’ve been friends since kindergarten. The question was posed if I was gonna be healthy enough to be in the wedding. We decided to switch my role so I can still be a part of my best friend’s wedding: instead of being a bridesmaid, I will now read scriptures from the Bible. I just could not keep up with the bridesmaids’ schedule of events. I also know that there is always that chance that possibly could prevent me from even missing the big day. A chance that can’t be taken when being a bridesmaid. I was naturally sad but couldn’t be mad. After fighting kidney failure for over 10 years, I know too well when things become out of your control. Something I am thankful that all my best friends understand.” – @the_waitinglist contributor Maribel Butts of Sacramento, CA. Maribel has been waiting for her second #kidneytransplant since October 2012. (Photo by @maribelskidneystory) // #endthewaitinglist ™@the_waitinglist
It was nice for the Waiting List to want share this post the other day. The last time I spoke with David with the Waiting List we were discussing some new ideas for my next featured post. One thing that continues to be a challenge is my unpredictable health. Which has interfered in many aspects in life especially planning. Currently my participation in my best friend since elementary’s wedding. This was something more personal but I realized how this is an aspect that is apart of having organ failure or any kind of sickness and the chronic illnesses that comes with it.
I’m thankful for the waiting list documenting my stories at the same time I go into a new season of blogging. With this new chapter in life, a compilation of more history being revealed. Pulling down layers of myself. Fully exposing my heart and my love for this life. This has been a place of healing and where I don’t leave anything unsaid. I have no idea where my story is leading. What new obstacle must I fight? Another miracle to be received. How long must I wait? and will the wait really ever end? I can never lose faith.
When I had another occurrence with valley fever. I was at square one with my healing. It was frustrating. I spent maybe a few days being disappointed and doing my best to pray through it. I knew even God allowed this time of wallowing it out. Once it passed. I had to regroup and focus. The residual disappointment will always linger but I’m keeping my eye on the prize. My family, my friendships, all that God has given me as constant reminders of these precious days.
But I’m okay. I really am. I’m first spiritual and secondly a human. We are created to feel and to experience. I’ve learned to take things as it comes. Yes I still get disappointed but it’s always a choice thing. I rather set it free and allow it to carry no weight. I am fully aware what I no longer can do in my physical power. However, I’m also fully aware of what I can do. Which has a lot to do with my spiritual power.
I believe we all can be better people when we are balanced with our spirituality. The fruit of the spirit is love: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8.
This teaches me how to be a true friend.
There is no more pushing more than the energy can allow. Each day is for itself. Long term commitments are harder to plan. The short-term commitments I’m definitely more dependable. I will be there as long as the health allows. This makes being a friend sometimes impossible. You have to be selfish at times but you realize how selfish it is for me not to take care of myself. What kind of friend can I be if I’m not even there at all.
All of my yeses has a disclosure that there is no promises. It can suck because I’m a person of my word and I value that. I’m used to being there not missing a beat. As you can see with my friend K.K. (who btw, is a mighty warrior fighting lupis) we’ve shared 30 years of important life events. So it was heartbreaking when we both realized it be best for me to change my role as a bridesmaid. I am happy to still be apart of it nonetheless!
The best friendships are the ones that you can always pick up where you left off at. No matter how long the time goes by. Me and K.K. has that as she is the official longest friendship that I have had. Because of this relationship I’ve been able to learn and grow through many seasons in our friendship and I can say I’m a better friend because of it.
I have been blessed to have several friends since grade school. These are the friendships that are like treasures. Something very precious and it comes with an understanding that is very mature and wise.
I’m thankful for all the amazing friendships that have lasted decades, years, seasons and time. They our my past, present, future. They are the stories, the childhood, the history, the sisterhood, the prayers, the laughs, the help, the getaway, the retreat, the night out, the adventure, the secret keeper, the disagreements, the arguments, the motivation, the inspiration, the tears, the forgiveness, the unconditional love, the honesty, the text/email/phone call away… the connection our souls need…
These are the little things that are really the bigger things in life. I will always have full capacity to still give some of these. Maybe not at all the same time but when the opportunity is posed to be the best friend I can be. I am there!
With this said. I celebrate all the beautiful friendships that have come along the way. Thank you for your friendship and understanding. You all have made this journey through life more beautiful, diverse and definitely worth while.
All the beautiful faces that make up the best kind of friendships! Sorry if I missed you!